I barely write nowadays – online nor offline. It has nothing to do with busy schedule, I just feel like it don’t have the right words to say. Some days I feel empty and some days I feel I’m overflowing and suffocated. Why? – I don’t know.
In the past few weeks I’ve done nothing efficient and even though I have a deadline to meet, I feel like not functioning at all. It’s not winter yet but I just feel down in general, maybe the summer heat is sucking all my energy. This week I’m supposed to focus only on one thing but I keep on looking for other things to escape my goal. Last weekend, instead of actually starting on my project, I planned my vacation trip on November. I felt ecstatic but I felt horrible for not focusing on the right things. What’s wrong with me? Right now, I’m literally wasting my time writing what I’m feeling instead of actually doing the work I should be doing. I took a vacation for this, I should get it done in time!
We all know that Time is the most important measure any person has and we should be mindful on how we use it. But that’s just it, we only get 24 hours a day but the things we want to do in life makes it insufficient. I got to admit, it’s because of Time management. In all honesty, even if people manage their time wisely, some of them will still feel incomplete.
Two years ago I felt like I perfected my time management, I was able to juggle so many things at once but I felt the lack of something. I felt like the routine is boring me out. I get away of it. I escaped the planners and time tables I created for myself. Now, nothing has changed and I feel the same. It has nothing to do with my time management, it has nothing to do on how much I plan my day or my week or my year. Now, I think it’s about how and where I spend my time on.
I always feel agitated when I fall in line for more than 5 mins. I feel like I’m wasting my time waiting instead of doing things that will help me become a better me. I became addicted to spending Time on things that gives me more value as a person.But even though it sound so good, it comes with a lot of flaws. There are so many things that could give me value and I ended up subscribing myself to most of them. I have an addiction to do so much things at once in so little time(24hrs a day remember?) I wanted to finish the program I currently enrolled in, I want to follow my ancestor’s footsteps, I wanna enroll in an MBA program which will not help at all -not in the career I wanna do, I want to start my own business, I want to be an expert on so many things, all of that on top of a highly demanding but awesome job! And just like what everyone would expect, I eventually exhausted myself and accomplish unimportant things (like this blog).
Now, thinking about it, one thing I’ve never done before even jumping on doing things and the most important component of all – The Five Ts – Taking the Time to Think. I did not think things through. Based on every personality test I’ve took in the past, I’m a doer and not a thinker, and that should’ve been a clue to actually try to be a Thinker sometimes.
The Five Ts – I think I’ll base my life on this one. I’ll try this mantra for this year and let’s see where it will take me. I’m hoping that after thinking things through, I’d be able to work on the things that truly matters to me. I should keep myself away from shiny things that will not bring happiness and content for the long run. I have to remind myself – GOALS, EYE ON THE GOAL.
hmm, that ended just right, didn’t think of it as something that will end cheerfully with lots of hope and colours.